Me mostre frases de exemplo com could you correct it


the clip shows a lot of people like John Kim having waited for a long time to board the ferry which is unpleasant. In the mean while a womann waiting in line to board the ferry almost went crazy .Me diga o maior numero de expressões diárias possíveis.

Veja uma tradução

“The clip shows a lot of people, like John Kim, waiting for an extended amount of time to board the ferry, which doesn’t seem very pleasant. In the mean time, a woman waiting in line to board almost went crazy!”

Explanations:

The commas I put around “like John Kim,” are there because it is extra information and without that phrase, the sentence would still make sense.
I changed, “waited for a long time,” to, “waiting for an extended amount of time,” to put more emphasis on the waiting period and because it sounds more professional.
“Which is unpleasant,” was changed to, “which didn’t seem pleasant,” because it sounds more natural.
By using the ! Instead of a period was to exaggerate how the woman almost went crazy.

If I need to rephrase an explanation please let me know!