Perguntas sobre exemplo de orações com, e a definição e o uso de "Personal"

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Q: PERSONAL INTRODUCTION
HELLO!It’s my greatest honor to introduce myself to you.Whether I will be your wish one or not,I’d like to share my personal hobbies,characteristics,abilities,and prospects to you.(this is the time I wait so long to express myself.)FOLLOWING THIS ,I will answer THREE questions which is also three aspects of myself to show a specifically vivid me and my passionate soul within.
WHO AM I?
I START FROM ZERO
I would rather like to describe myself as a challenger than just a follower.In other words, I like taking risks of unknown challenges.Given the fact that I failed in my final exam of middle school,I didn’t go to the school that I wanted.Maybe from some peers’ perspectives, I had already fallen behind by them,but I took this as a chance instead of failure,a fresh “zero” start than a finish line of a game.I decided to change myself from then on: losing my weight , campaigning for the monitor, running for the leadership of student council president.What I used to being afraid of were gradually changing to what I am excelling in,and my talents in communicating and organizing finally showed up.Up to now I have done so many things I couldn’t imagine before ,and have found myself gain a brand new feature.Looking back to the past I had been through,I found no regrets but gratitude and acknowledgements. If I must feature myself in a word,I think challenger is the best describing.
WHAT IS IN ME
MY eagerness to unknowns
Since I was still young,I have always wanted to explore what behinds the “surface”.WHY the life exits?HOW the frictions comes about?WHAT is Fermi?paradox? After I entered the high school,I was extremely fascinated about physics,but I couldn’t be satisfied only by the things in school,so I learnt some college physics by myself(firstly from some physics contest book ).I tried in one year to read the whole book of advanced mathematics,and watched the Stanford courses(by Leonard Susskind) about quantum physics, general theory of relativity,etc.Though couldn’t I fully understand this(maybe 30%?),I felt my appetite in science was greatly satisfied.Apart from this, I was again of great interest in some social and philosophy problems,thanks to a great Japanese anime “Ghost In The Shells” ,which sorted in a big science fiction category “Cyberpunk”. In order to find some explanation outwards,I read “MEDITATIONS First Philosophy”by Descartes to find what was “mind-body dualism” .(which talked about whether the soul could be independently exist without the body) Beyond this I was also “game taster”, trying out to find what is the meaning behind some good quality game .Taking a recently game I played“Darksouls 3”as an example ,not only I play this game with “determination”(known as the toughest game of all time) ,but also I found it have some “connection” with the Japanese Society(the game is made by Japanese).The decayed world it lures us to explore is just a metaphor implying the postwar Japan itself ,where subjects were losing their confidence(according to “The Downward Spiral: Postmodern Consciousness as Buddhist Metaphysics in the Dark Souls Video Game Series”)
The examples are still many.In conclusion,my striking desire to the unknowns may be the reason why I’d like to continue explore this world.
MY “rebelling” spirit
What an interesting fact about me is that I could never easily accept others’ opinion in the first time,especially the words from authorities.This doesn’t mean I don’t accept ,I just prefer thinking it twice to absorbing at once,and that’s why I dare to describe myself as “rebelling”.I am characterized as not living in the same routine with my peers sometimes. I’d like to watch “Game of throne”whilst others are not,I’d like to talk about some politics whilst others are not too.I always want to seek for “ideal truths” for some “unsolved questions”,so I am stuck in dilemmas and feel great depressions sometimes.But still I stand for my opinion even it’s wrong,because I don’t want to be “tamed” by anyone,hoping to be self-independent and critical at all times.
My passionate soul
If there is a group, I will certainly bring a bunch of “laughingstocks”(not in a bad way) to them.This is partly the reason why I am good at communicating.Furthermore,the passionate soul also gives me a precious gift,that is the good habit of listening.This is because I always want to respect their lifestyles when they can equally respect mine.I want to know one’s real thought in a serious but friendly way,without judgement and comments.Otherwise,it also gives me a acute mind sometimes,letting me to know if I was stepping to the wrong directions.
WHAT I WISH TO BE/HAVE
1.INDEPENDENCE IN COLLEGE LIFE
2.FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND THOUGHTS
3.BROAD WORLD AND MULTICULTURAL ATMOSPHERE
4.CONTINUELY STUDYING ABILITY AND CRITICAL THOUGHTS
5.PASSIONS TO LIFE AND PROMOSING PROSPECTS
6.THE SPIRITS OF NEVER GIVE UP
7.FRIENDS IN NEED
8.HAPPINESS
9.HEALTHY
10.MAYBE TRUE LOVE FOR LIFE
soa natural?
A: × It’s my greatest honor to introduce myself to you.
✓ It is in my greatest honor to introduce myself to you.

× Whether I will be your wish one or not,I’d like to share my personal hobbies,characteristics,abilities,and prospects to you.
✓ Whether or not I will be your chosen one, I’d like to share my personal hobbies, characteristics ,abilities, and prospects to you.

× (this is the time I wait so long to express myself.)FOLLOWING THIS ,I will answer THREE questions which is also three aspects of myself to show a specifically vivid me and my passionate soul within.
✓ FOLLOWING THIS, I will answer THREE questions, which is also three aspects of myself to show you a vivid and the passionate soul of myself.

× I would rather like to describe myself as a challenger than just a follower.
✓ I rather like to describe myself as a challenger than just a follower.


× Given the fact that I failed in my final exam of middle school,I didn’t go to the school that I wanted.
✓ Given the fact that I failed in my final exam of middle school, I didn’t go to the school that I wanted.

× Maybe from some peers’ perspectives, I had already fallen behind by them,but I took this as a chance instead of failure,a fresh “zero” start than a finish line of a game.
✓ Maybe from some peers’ perspectives, I had already fallen behind, but I took this as a chance to start fresh.

× I decided to change myself from then on: losing my weight , campaigning for the monitor, running for the leadership of student council president.
✓ I decided to change myself from then on: losing my weight, campaigning for the monitor, and running for the leadership of student council president.

× What I used to being afraid of were gradually changing to what I am excelling in,and my talents in communicating and organizing finally showed up.
✓ I used to be afraid but gradually I started changing and now I am excelling, which is where my talents in communicating and organizing developed.

× Up to now I have done so many things I couldn’t imagine before ,and have found myself gain a brand new feature.
✓ Up to now I have done so many things I couldn’t do before, and I have found myself gain a brand new feature.

× Looking back to the past I had been through,I found no regrets but gratitude and acknowledgements.
✓ Looking back to the past I had been through, I found no regrets but gratitude and acknowledgements.

× If I must feature myself in a word,I think challenger is the best describing.
✓ If I must describe myself in a word, I think challenger is the best word to describe me.

× Since I was still young,I have always wanted to explore what behinds the “surface”.
✓ Since I was young, I have always wanted to explore what behinds the “surface”.

× After I entered the high school,I was extremely fascinated about physics,but I couldn’t be satisfied only by the things in school,so I learnt some college physics by myself(firstly from some physics contest book ).
✓ After I entered High School, I was extremely fascinated by physics, but I couldn’t be satisfied only by the things in school so I learnt about college physics by myself.

× I tried in one year to read the whole book of advanced mathematics,and watched the Stanford courses(by Leonard Susskind) about quantum physics, general theory of relativity,etc.
✓ I tried in a year to read the whole book of advanced mathematics and watched the Stanford courses (by Leonard Susskind) about quantum physics, general theory of relativity, etc.

× Though couldn’t I fully understand this(maybe 30%?),I felt my appetite in science was greatly satisfied.
✓ Though I couldn’t fully understand this(maybe 30%?). I felt my appetite in science was greatly satisfied.

× Apart from this, I was again of great interest in some social and philosophy problems,thanks to a great Japanese anime “Ghost In The Shells” ,which sorted in a big science fiction category “Cyberpunk”.
✓ Apart from this, I was again of great interest in some social and philosophy problems thanks to a great Japanese anime “Ghost In The Shells”, which sorted in a big science fiction category “Cyberpunk”.

× In order to find some explanation outwards,I read “MEDITATIONS First Philosophy”by Descartes to find what was “mind-body dualism” .
✓ In order to find some explanation outwards, I read “MEDITATIONS First Philosophy” by Descartes to find what “mind-body dualism” was.

× Beyond this I was also “game taster”, trying out to find what is the meaning behind some good quality game .
✓ Beyond this I was also a game tester, trying out to find what is the meaning behind some good quality games.

× Taking a recently game I played“Darksouls 3”as an example ,not only I play this game with “determination”(known as the toughest game of all time) ,but also I found it have some “connection” with the Japanese Society(the game is made by Japanese).
✓ Taking a game I recently played, “Dark Souls 3”, as an example. Not only did I play this game with “determination”(it is known as the toughest game of all time), but I also found it had some “connection” with the Japanese Society(the game is made by Japanese).

× The decayed world it lures us to explore is just a metaphor implying the postwar Japan itself ,where subjects were losing their confidence(according to “The Downward Spiral: Postmodern Consciousness as Buddhist Metaphysics in the Dark Souls Video Game Series”)
✓ The decayed world it lures us to explore is just a metaphor for the postwar of Japan itself, where subjects were losing their confidence(according to “The Downward Spiral: Postmodern Consciousness as Buddhist Metaphysics in the Dark Souls Video Game Series”)

× The examples are still many.
✓ There is so many examples I can use.

× In conclusion,my striking desire to the unknowns may be the reason why I’d like to continue explore this world.
✓ In conclusion, my striking desire to the unknowns may be the reason why I’d like to continue to explore this world.

× What an interesting fact about me is that I could never easily accept others’ opinion in the first time,especially the words from authorities.
✓ An interesting fact about me is that I could never easily accept others’ opinion at first, especially words from authorities.

× This doesn’t mean I don’t accept ,I just prefer thinking it twice to absorbing at once,and that’s why I dare to describe myself as “rebelling”.
✓ That doesn’t mean I don’t accept it, I just prefer thinking twice to absorbing at once and that’s why I dare to describe myself as “rebelling”.

× I am characterized as not living in the same routine with my peers sometimes.
✓ I am characterized as not living with the same routine as my peers sometimes.

× I’d like to watch “Game of throne”whilst others are not,I’d like to talk about some politics whilst others are not too.
✓ I’d like to watch “Game of Thrones”, whilst others don’t. I’d like to talk about some politics whilst others are don’t.

× I always want to seek for “ideal truths” for some “unsolved questions”,so I am stuck in dilemmas and feel great depressions sometimes.
✓ I always want to seek for “ideal truths” for “unsolved questions”, so sometimes I am stuck in dilemmas and feel great depressions.

× But still I stand for my opinion even it’s wrong,because I don’t want to be “tamed” by anyone,hoping to be self-independent and critical at all times.
✓ But still I stand for my opinion even it’s wrong, because I don’t want to be “tamed” by anyone, in hopes to become a self-independent and critical person.

× If there is a group, I will certainly bring a bunch of “laughingstocks”(not in a bad way) to them.
✓ If I am in a group, I will certainly be giving a bunch of laughs.

× This is partly the reason why I am good at communicating.
✓ That is partly the reason why I am so good at communicating.

× Furthermore,the passionate soul also gives me a precious gift,that is the good habit of listening.
✓ Furthermore, the passionate soul also gives me a precious gift that is the good habit of listening.


× This is because I always want to respect their lifestyles when they can equally respect mine.
✓ This is because I always want to respect their lifestyles so they can equally respect mine.

× I want to know one’s real thought in a serious but friendly way,without judgement and comments.
✓ I want to know one’s real thoughts in a serious, friendly way without judgement.

× Otherwise,it also gives me a acute mind sometimes,letting me to know if I was stepping to the wrong directions.

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